... I have asked several times how I wish it would end my life. No, do not worry, Miss Grumbler is not contemplating suicide. I speak of the natural end of my life, yes, old age, In short, if my food debauchery and ethyl allow me to get there.
I always thought, "Well, never out of place with the brain, the gardens accompanied by an unknown caretaker" or "never immobilized in a bed, to count all the sorrows of my bones."
I always thought it would be nice to fall asleep and never wake up: no tearful goodbyes, without fear, without undue inconvenience to children and grandchildren.
I have always said: "I hope that someone dear to me have the courage to pull the plug, if you were to see that I'm just the fruit!"
But .. but ... then there is always something with the simplicity of a breath into the air all the castles of your beliefs.
As I often do, today I saw my grandmother, my mom childhood: a fragile shell white, fragrant soap, with a soul that now follows in all its routes, which only rarely can meet and understand.
often, and not without guilt, I was amazed to finally abandon hope that this world because this world does not belong to more, nor the most affecting its colors, smells, the taste of its food, the company of people that you have shared.
too, that I was his joy, his grandson and daughter, his pestiferous company, his favorite pastime, I am now a "nice lady" unidentified or a "girl" any, or are less interesting than the figures that come out of TV, often talks of his interlocutors.
Yet, this morning he looked at me straight in the eye and said: "I love you so much !"... and no matter if he said, in his heart, his neighbor, his mother, a fleeting memories of his childhood, his niece ... or perhaps because, if this little woman drained by time and scented soap still inside her so intensely that I moved with joy, then it is a sign that, even where you are, is a place worth living.
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